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Buoyancy
and i don't always feel lucky
but i'm smart enough to try
cuz humility has buoyancy
and above us only sky
I had a few minutes by myself today. I stayed home from work. I had some good reasons to stay home, but I could not really seem to create some peace for myself. I have been listening to a lot of Lucinda Williams, " West". It makes me feel less lonely.
I wish I could fall into a good book. Make a room inside my head to hang out in.
I need to cultivate more dignity and grace. I want to feel more powerful and clear. I am worrying about my Mothering.
It care so much about doing a good a job, but with all that is going on I have to dig so hard. It feels unfair.
I had a dream last night that I checked into a hotel for the weekend and all of these people took care of me all weekend. It was really odd and uncomfortable in some ways. But, to have someone to just help me hold some of this would not be bad.
I think about trying to schedule a massage, but I am afraid I will cry.
